By Shawn Farrell
The Daily News
Published July 11, 2007
I seem to spend every waking hour trying to prove to my fianc?e that I?m a fearless hunk. For instance, I went on a successful hunting venture the other evening (I accidentally hit a deer with my car).
Of course, my version of the hunt included a man-eating bear, a can of spinach and my bare fists ? on the top of an active volcano.
Yet my latest act of heroism is just too stupid for me to bear.
My fianc?e knows that I fear nothing ? to a certain degree.
For instance, she knows that, if someone breaks into our home, I?ll heroically lock our bedroom door until the evildoer becomes bored and goes away.
Or, if a hurricane steams toward my home in Bayou Vista, we?ll take shelter in the cellar that the Discovery Channel told me to build. At least I think that was for hurricanes.
Either way, there?s just no end to my manliness ? until ghosts are factored in.
In my mind, there is nothing as petrifying as some transparent spirit whose sole purpose is to scare people for all eternity. For this reason, signing up for the Galveston ghost tour was pure suicide for me.
I?ll be the only one on the tour touting a handgun and a crucifix. The crucifix is to ward off evil spirits. I?ll use the handgun to shoot myself if it doesn?t work.
Apparently, the two-hour ghoul expedition is a tour on foot around The Strand, in Galveston, on Wednesday evenings.
Grandma looked up the information for me ? after I begged her to tag along. After all, grandma lived through the ?60s ? so she?s dealt with far crazier things than ghosts.
She?s the perfect candidate to valiantly hold off a poltergeist while I scream like Fran Drescher and bolt for home.
The tour?s Web site gives a basic idea of why Galveston?s diverse history makes it a likely area for hauntings. For example, apparently some enormous hurricane hit the island around 1900.
From what I can gather, it must have been a haunted hurricane as well. Doppler radar was not all that it was cracked out to be back then, so most of the islanders were oblivious to the impending spooky disaster that approached from the Gulf.
Galvestonians are survivors, though. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder after the storm and constructed a mighty hurricane- barrier ? the seawall! They even knew that stupid teenagers would likely graffiti the seawall in the future, and ghosts are terrified of graffiti.
Since then, ghosts have haunted Victorian homes all over the island and hidden under every child?s bed.
But I?ve outwitted the little rascals. I sleep on the floor.
However, even a cold, uncomfortable and safe floor can?t protect me from ghoul headquarters (The Strand).
If you have any words of encouragement, please feel free to drop by and see me. Just look for the guy who?s defacing his entire home with graffiti. I?m sure my landlord will understand.
Shawn Farrell is a copy editor for The Daily News.
http://blogs.galvnews.com/story.lasso?e ... nPs1BC180C
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