How to sell a haunted HDTV

[Carol]

For a while now, the online phenomenon that is Craigslist has been lapping at Southwest Florida's shores, yet I'd largely ignored it until this week.

But, as I aspire to be a student of the region's community, when I saw this dispatch from Estero, I knew some further research was warranted:

"HAUNTED TV - Toshiba TW40 40" HDTV television

I am selling my 5 year old Toshiba HDTV because I am a college student who is unable to transport it to another school. It is rather large because its a projection and weighs about 100 pounds. It works fine, has a nice glossy screen and is in good condition.

There is one caveat that I must bring to the buyer's attention: This TV is almost certainly haunted by the spirit of a 1970's-era baptist pastor named Klent Kloom. He is harmless, but the buyer should be comfortable with cries of "HALLELUJIA"" (sic) at unearthly hours of night. I am unfamiliar with exorcism and cannot find a good reference on the internet. ... Original URL: http://fortmyers.craigslist.org/ele/532991654.html

Estero, huh? Former home of the Koreshans, the defunct utopian sect led by one of the most idiosyncratic preachers Estero ? nay, the whole region ? has ever seen: Dr. Cyrus Teed, seer of visions, believer in a hollow universe, would-be architect of the New Jerusalem, practitioner of alchemy. . . was it possible Dr. Teed had chosen this Toshiba as the site of New Jerusalem II?

I e-mailed, asking for details and got a prompt return call from Brandon Jerome, the 20-year-old FGCU junior majoring in biology who'd placed the ad.

One of the first things I wanted to know was if he'd sold it yet. After all, I imagine there might be lots of potential buyers drawn to such a special feature.

Not yet, he told me, though he'd had one good nibble.

Then I asked if he thought his preacher might be Teed.

Brandon didn't think so.

"My roommate and I had a little seance with this crazy Wiccan woman and a ouija board and she very definitely, said the guy's name was Klent Kloom," he told me.

Plus, the spirit initially manifested itself with a vile smell of burning hair or flesh, which seems a bit undignified for Dr. Teed.

What's more, Ronny Glisson, a ranger at the Koreshan State Historic Site in Estero said he'd never come across a story of Teed haunting any place, anyone or anything.

"No, ma'am ? I've never heard anything about any apparitions," he told me.

I asked Lehigh Acres paranormal researcher Eldon Johnson if he'd ever heard of such a thing.

"It does happen, but it's rare," he said. "Maybe (Kloom) is using it to reach out."

But employing an ouija board to contact him? Bad idea, Johnson says.

"That's about the worst thing you could do. It just opens you up for anything."

So what to do about Brandon's Toshiba? I put the question to the worldwide network of experts of Profnet, an online service that "connects reporters easily and quickly with expert sources at no charge" (and a most useful tool for a journalist who wants a lot of input quickly.)

First to respond was Dali Wiederhoft, vice president of Estipona Group Advertising in Reno, who suggested, "Try wearing an aluminum foil beanie while watching the TV. It won't do much for the shouting minister, but it'll keep his head warm and it helps with reception."

Then self-described Baptist-in-recovery Neil Gussman of Philadelphia's Chemical Heritage Foundation ("dedicated to preserving and promoting the progress of science") wrote: "It is quite impossible to exorcise a Baptist preacher from a hallelujah-friendly venue. To get Kloom out of the TV, the new owner only has to play three consecutive French-language films and Kloom will find a stadium sound system to in-dwell."

Last to weigh in ? by presstime, at least ? was Brian Olson of Video Professor, Inc., a Colorado-based self-paced computer software tutorial company, i.e. a tech guy.

"Those old Toshibas are pretty big," he wrote. "Maybe a preacher is really inside the darn thing. He needs to open the back and check. If it is indeed haunted by a Baptist preacher, I'd donate it to a Baptist Church and take the tax deduction."

Now that's an eerily good idea...

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